2016 Post Thanksgiving Commentary

Each year I sit down to write my newsletter on Thanksgiving morning before the festivities begin and set it to go out in the evening when the party’s over. Mostly I steal stuff from last years post and tweek it a bit. The best thing about holiday traditions is just how predictable they can be. The first time I took on my family’s turkey duty at my house was 1983- the year I was 20. It has been nearly 20 years of sharing the duty with my husband- hosting for between 18-25 for two turkeys and the first Tom and Jerry’s of the season. That is a hell of a lot of potatoes peeled.

Tonight when the dishes are mostly done, the leftovers are stored I will wish I had sat down longer and eaten less. I will wish it had gone slower. Whether you are reading this from my newsletter, my blog post or on Facebook, you are finding it hidden among a ton of Black Friday Ads, pulling us away from the afterglow.

Before moving on, take a minute and reflect.

You are extraordinarily blessed if you spent the day with people who pissed you off and hurt your feelings. Remember that. Those opinionated, loud mouthed, obnoxious people are your family by birth or marriage or by choice. You will either have to face the enormous pain of their passing or they will be the ones left when you go. This is good. It is the whole point of life- to surround ourselves with people that matter, people that we love and keep working on and struggle with. Do they see things differently than you do? Is their experience something you can learn from, be open to? That is their gift in your life.

Remember, you are someone’s obnoxious, loud-mouthed pain in the butt relative.

For people who have suffered a loss or are going through a divorce this holiday, I promise it gets better. There are things that time heals. Make plans for how much more you will be able to enjoy next year’s holiday. It’s ok to not love this time of year.

Right now while it is all still fresh in your mind- how did it go? What do you wish you had done differently? What about the day was most important, what made the day special?

Business strategy offers us the idea of continuous improvement. This means looking back and deciding what worked, and what didn’t work and making plans to adjust. The opposite is the definition of insanity- doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Doing a little post game analysis makes a huge difference because we forget. We do what we do unless we make a commitment to do differently.

Every year I put a note on December 1st of my Google Calendar- Start Christmas preparations early. I love the season, love making gifts and special food for people but I somehow forget to make it a priority until days before Christmas and then wish I had more time… every year, same thing.

Do you really need to do all you did? Was it worth it? Do you keep hoping it will be different next year? Was it as hard as you thought it would be? Make a note to yourself. Somewhere you will see it in early November. And while you’re at it… what about Christmas? Be intentional. How do you want it to be? Remember that you are establishing traditions and memories for your children. This is how they will remember the holidays and the expectations that they will carry forward to their families. Create a holiday that reflects your values, your needs. Let go of worn out traditions or things you feel you have to do.

Celebrate. Enjoy. Create some lovely, low stress memories.

Maureen