My Lessons- All About Love

I just finished reading bell hook’s work- All About Love: New Visions. “All About Love offers radical new ways of thinking about love by showing its interconnectedness in our private and public lives.” (Looking for other powerful black feminist works? Check out Pleasure Activism; the Politics of Feeling Good by Adrienne Maree Brown.) 

“I feel our nation’s turning away from love…moving into a wilderness of spirit so intense we may never find our way home again. I write of love to bear witness both to the danger in this movement, and to call for a return to love.” – bell hooks 

My goal is for my work as a therapist and a mother and a friend and a lover is radical, anti-oppression, feminist transformation.  All I can bring to the world is my love- my passion, my commitment, my faith in people. Even saying it scares the hell out of me. What am I thinking? How is that going to work? But what else is there? What could be more powerful? 

hooks’ work is about the intense power of love and how its value has always been diminished by patriarchy and capitalism. I choose to believe her. 

The hardest thing about  leading with your heart is that it will get broken. It will hurt like hell. If we are going to take on changing the world, we have to be willing to put our hearts on the line. 

As a society, we’ve become addicted to our own comfort. We avoid pain, we avoid risk, we avoid uncertainty. I ask you to be an agitator for an uncomfortable new world. 

The world needs you to be bold. “We do not have to love. We choose to love.” Take risks. Get your heart broken. Love without limits. Tell people how you feel.  Put it out there. Mess it up. Get it wrong. Do something new. 

The world needs you to be honest. “The heart of justice is truthtelling” Break some hearts. Hurt people’s feelings. Step away from those who aren’t good for you. Move on. Speak your truth. Say what no one else is saying. Speak up. Repeat. Yell. Swear. Cry. Say something new. 

The world needs you to have compassion. “When we love we can let our hearts speak” Take the high road. Forgive. Apologise. Wonder why. Reclaim your faith in people. Trust even when it seems wrong. Love someone hard to love.  

The world needs you to listen.  “There can be no love without justice” Embrace your ignorance. Read black writers. Research things you are confused about. Listen without planning a response.  Ask deep questions. Love without asking for anything. 

Start with your family. They are the training group for fierce, life changing love. Do not stop there. Take that love into the world and become a champion of love. 

I love you!