Agitated this week? Who isn’t?

Of course you are. Apparently, half the country would rather we move toward fascism than trust a brilliant woman of color to lead us. The world is unstable. Our climate is unstable, our economy is unstable. We live in a world that centers the needs of billionaires. Women, people of color, immigrant families, the LGBQT community, anyone dealing with a disability, and all their friends and families are not safe in the dystopian future we may face. 

So as your friendly neighborhood psychologist, what are we supposed to do? How do we support our kids? 

Emotional intelligence is our best resilience no matter what lies ahead. Have your feelings. Don’t resist them. Lean in. Remember, just like toddler tantrums, the first step is to acknowledge the feeling with empathy, with an open heart. Even or especially when you are the toddler.

We all have feelings we are more comfortable with and some that our families didn’t give us the tools to manage well. 

Pick a hard one. Set your phone or ask Alexa to give you 90 seconds. Be with the feeling for 90 seconds. You can do it. You can be with the feeling.  Have compassion. It’s tough to adult right now. Be very gentle. 

Be afraid.   For a moment, walk down those dark alleys, think about the scary stuff. Don’t pretend that nothing bad can happen- it has and it may happen again and we will get through it together- again. 

Be sad. So much loss. So many friendships that don’t work anymore. So many people who aren’t trustworthy. The loss of our innocence has been brutal. 

Be angry.  Can you do 90 seconds of anger? Can you rage with power, with certainty? Nostrils flaring, lion’s breath, Growl, snarl, swear, stop. Be very mad!

Be disappointed.  This is not the world we thought we lived in. This is not the world we thought we were leavnig our children. This is so much harder than we expected life to be. 

How’d that feel? Did you get into your body? Anyone’s head explode? I knew you could do it. Can you do this with your kids? Are you a family that does fear, does sadness, does anger and can face big disappointments? 

After you’ve had a chance to process some of the crap you’ve been stuffing try these.

Be hopeful. What did Mr. Rogers say? Look for the helpers? There are so many people in our lives that are stepping up, making sacrifices and doing what needs to be done. Be one of the helpers.

Be brave. Scary things give us a chance to be brave. We’ve got this. We will build community and find our way. We will be bold and speak up. We will be the resistance. 

Be thankful. Count your blessings and smell the roses and savor the little things. Do it because it is good for the world and good for you and it lowers your stress. 

Love fiercely. We are what will change the world. We are the ones that can heal this divide. We can hold people accountable and be firm and fight the good fights while believing in love when it seems like the craziest thing to do. 

And it goes without saying, vote. And help others vote.