Category / communication / stress
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Writers Block? Maybe Burnout? Or Persistent Drive for Autonomy?
I loved blogging. I did it most Thursdays for over 15 years. Blogging taught me to write and gave me an audience. It led to me offering workshops and becoming a professional speaker. Then I fell off a wall and just couldn’t do it anymore. Read more here. Read my 2019-2024 Season Recap here. I have tried everything to get back to it. I have cleaned my house, transplanted all…
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Again With the Holiday Family Stress Post
Assertive Bill of Rights for the Holiday Season You Choose
Between the weather and the impeachment hearings- it feels like it is going to be an especially long, brutal winter. Each November I share a version of my Assertiveness Bill of Rights for the Holidays as my gift to you and your family. Tis the season of hurt feelings, unreasonable expectations, trauma triggers and emotional eating.
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Do These Pants Make My A$$ Look Big?
I want to be able to take feedback from the people I love because they are my best teachers and I know that I am not perfect and growth comes from feedback and hearing the feedback isn’t dangerous and I don’t have to change to be loved and the people I love want me to be even more amazing.
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Is Your Relationship as Frozen as Your Yard?
Sue Johnson, the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy whose work has transformed and inspired my own talks about the 3 Demon Dialogues that shut down couple’s ability to manage connection with flexibility. Here’s my super over simplified explanation of her years of research. Find the Bad Guy– the blame and criticism conversation that leaves little room for solution. The Protest Polka– the demand/withdraw dance where each partner pursues in…
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Can Your Partner Find You?
Mom…MOM….MOM…MOM!!! When our kids can’t find us, they yell. Sometimes we are sitting right there, distracted, on our phones, thinking thoughts not about them, trying to work… but they can’t make a connection so they GET YOUR ATTENTION. In marriage when we don’t feel heard sometimes we get loud. Sometimes we get mean. Sometimes we get sullen. When we can’t find the connection we use whatever coping skills we have.…
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You Know You Can Tell Me Anything, Right?
“Communication”- when couples come to me for the first time they often report that they have communication issues. “Communication issues” confuses even me. Of course they mostly speak the same language. Mostly they do talk to to each other- they can deal with the kids, the mortgage, the schedule but they can’t seem to have the conversations that they want to have. No one seems to have the same problem…
