Category / divorce / marriage counseling
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Divorce Musings- Not all problems are created equally
We live in a culture that frames marriage as good for people, the bedrock of society and divorce as a sign of moral failure and selfishness that destroys children and undermines our country’s core values. That just never worked for me. I don’t see divorce as selfish. I don’t see people treating their marriages as disposable. I see people struggling and suffering and desperate to find a way to save their marriages. I see divorce as painful but not necessarily destructive.
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Is Your Relationship as Frozen as Your Yard?
Sue Johnson, the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy whose work has transformed and inspired my own talks about the 3 Demon Dialogues that shut down couple’s ability to manage connection with flexibility. Here’s my super over simplified explanation of her years of research. Find the Bad Guy– the blame and criticism conversation that leaves little room for solution. The Protest Polka– the demand/withdraw dance where each partner pursues in…
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Fighting for Connection- Minnesota Style
Minnesota nice is the stereotypical behavior of people born and raised in Minnesota to be courteous, reserved, and mild-mannered. I love Minnesota- born and raised here and this week I can’t even hate the weather. I not only specialize in relationship counseling, but after 15 years I now specialize in Minnesotan relationship counseling. If a couple comes into my office yelling at each other and outwardly angry I usually open…
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When is it Time to Go?
Rumor has it that divorce is too easy. Rumor has it that people don’t try hard enough. Rumor has it that people treat marriage like it is disposable. I know some silly celebrities (and politicians) have a string of exes but I don’t know real people who do that. Ok Huff Post does have a Starter Marriage page. (A starter marriage is a first marriage that lasts five years or…
