Category / Attachment / conflict / Parenting
-
![]()
Confession- I still yell!
People yell at their kids. And that’s ok. I mean it isn’t great but it is going to happen. You could drop your kids off at my house (please don’t- I do not take donations) and there is almost no chance that I would ever lose my shit with your kids. But mine? The ones that I love deeply? They can still take me down. 35 years I have been…
-
![]()
Kisses can’t make it all ok
Let me walk you through how anxiety gets fed. Remember the 35W bridge collapse? Before that bridges seemed really safe. Then one day a bridge fell down and we were all hyper alert about bridges. No one wanted to drive over bridges. We all knew it was pretty unlikely that another bridge would fall… lightning striking twice and all. But anxiety doesn’t really care about logic. There were two options available to all of us.
-
![]()
How did the internet make parenting so freaking hard?
I have a complicated relationship with Facebook. I suppose this whole “internet thing” still confuses me.
In 1984, I was at the U studying psychology and women studies and became a single mom.
My parenting philosophy was developed at the library. The actual building kind with paper books. I found “The Family Bed” which gave me permission to let my baby sleep right where he already was. I subscribed to the subversive Mothering Magazine. I decided not to spank and researched nutrition and discipline and sexual stereotypes and worried about the impact of raising my son surrounded by strong women but without a father. And deep down I knew that if I loved him and did my best, we’d be ok.
-
![]()
Big Kids- Bigger Problems? Ha! Forget that
I am in the sweet spot of parenting- big kids whose problems can be super stressful but they usually can be dealt with on my schedule. Seriously- I get breaks…lots of them. People say “big kids, bigger problems” and there is some truth in that. This week we are dealing with school shit and friends with suicidal feelings and anxiety about job hunting and health concerns and a dead parakeet.…
-
![]()
Sending the Kids Off to School…Now What?
Last week I was working on my blog post, writing about the crazy relationship we Minnesotans have to summer when I got distracted and unmotivated and forgot to write anything. That’s kind of how my summer is going. It is only a couple of weeks until my tiniest baby starts high school and I am facing hard growing pains. Here’s the post I always recycle about back to school. As…
-
![]()
Reduce-Reuse-Recycle… but mostly Reduce
How did we get into the mess that modern parenting is? Does anyone feel like they’re doing it right? Have we bit off more than we can chew. New, more, better might be sinking us. Many of the parents I work with are buying organic carrots, carrying reusable bags and driving their Prius’ when they aren’t on their bikes. They care and yet the level of consumption continues to go…
-
![]()
Parenting Information Overload
Sometimes I feel like a social science experiment. In the last century I become a mom at 21, going it solo, working on my under grad degree and pretty broke. Not poor… I had way to much family support to ever feel poor. In this century did it again- two more times- at 38 and 40. I was a psychologist, married and by this time I had figured out that…
-
![]()
Get Real! How Lovable Are You Being?
Life’s lessons from our best friends. What can we learn about love from dogs…who make it look so easy. No one can get close to you if you growl and show your teeth all the time. Do you bark at those you love? Are you unpredictable? Are You Playful? Have you become way too serious to play with anymore? Are you spontaneous? Always up for an adventure? Do you try…
-
![]()
Love with a Big Heart…and a Strong Backbone!
I occasionally get pulled into internet arguments defending positive parenting. This week another therapist was ranting about what she considered lazy, under parenting that was basically child neglect. I get frustrated with people quick to judge parents who are trying to do something different…but you know it isn’t that easy. We all know that there are parents out there who are practicing positive parenting or attachment parenting or free range…
-
![]()
Ode to 33 Years of Active Duty Parenting
Please consider signing up for the email version of my newsletter! Get weekly Notes from a Marriage Geek updates. For the longest time I have told people that I have one grown son and two littles. The two “littles” turn 14 and 16 this week… are both taller than I am and if all goes as planned, one “little” will be a licensed driver in 4 days. (I think we’re…
