I Love Fiercely!

I was dating this guy a few years ago and he asked what I thought my greatest asset was. Without hesitation, I replied, “I love fiercely!” He told me he was thinking more about my legs. We were not on the same planet. 

If I were going to recommend one book on relationships it would be bell hooks “All About Love: New Visions.” It is a book I return to when my heart is broken, when I am deeply insecure about love, when I am terrified about the future of our country, and when my clients’ pain becomes my own. 

Hooks was a black feminist, social critic, and brilliant wordsmith. She tackles the intersectionality of race, capitalism, and gender. “All About Love” offers a view of love as a transformative force. Right now, her voice keeps me optimistic about where the true power is in our culture- by healing ourselves and those we are most deeply connected to. Her view of love speaks to partnership, to childrearing, to friendship and family and healing our community. 

Loving fiercely requires a commitment to care, it is action and responsibility, and accountability. 

Capitalism objectifies love- something to give, to receive, to have, to lose. Loving fiercely means fostering our deep capacity for love. We prioritize nurturing relationships. Patriarchy- the power structure of our society uses love to keep us apart. It reinforces power imbalances and romanticizes domination and control. Traditional gender roles prevent the vulnerability and openness needed for real intimacy. 

Loving fiercely is not weak or sentimental. It is finding the balance of an open heart and a firm backbone. 

This is about positive discipline but I could have written it about loving anyone. https://www.marriagegeek.com/backbone/ 

We do not love people when we accept bad behavior. We do not love people when we refuse to push them. Love fights and challenges and repairs and forgives. 

Are you a bit weak in backbone? Too accepting, conflict avoidant, not setting boundaries?

Are you a bit closed-hearted? Too rigid, hostile, guarded? 

What else are you going to do with your one glorious life but do the work of loving fiercely? Have a great week and play a bigger game.