Growth is Kicking My Butt

You might notice that I am writing on Friday, not my usual Thursday. I have been trying to figure out if I should just not post anything and see if anyone notices or recycle an old post. “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” Slap on a happy face and just get it done right?

But at my core, this platform is suppose to be about building healthy relationships through vulnerability, authenticity and trust. So lying to everyone doesn’t seem like the best plan.

Growing pains suck. In the balance of my life I am way better at taking care of others than I am at letting them take care of me. I have to work on leaning in to relationships, trusting others to meet my needs.

Here’s the thing. I’m kind of a mess this week. I could list the stressors but they are really all the  things that are always there. The kids and finances and politics and the weather and the house and body image and aging and family crap and my friends and aging parents and paperwork and dating and the state of the world.

I promises transparency. People have been so sweet about supporting me as my family moves through a divorce. We’re good. I swear. And this path is about deep transformation and growth. And growth sucks. It hurts and it’s scary and it’s lonely and it’s weird…so very weird.

Sometimes the volume on the good things in my life balances out the stress. I can count my blessings and smell the roses and focus on abundance and trust the universe.

Sometimes the doubts are loud. The sun goes behind the clouds and it is hard to trust that the darkness doesn’t last. And I need to lean in. No fake smiles. Vulnerability, authenticity and trust.

Maureen

(and yes, thank you very much… I am fine… just messy humanity)