Marriage Story- A Movie Review

NO SPOILERS- a movie about a messy divorce.  https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/marriage_story_2019

When it came to Netflix this week I figured Marriage Story could make a great blog post…and this is that…but not in the way I thought. It is a beautiful, well written movie with amazing acting…although Black Widow marries Kylo Ren does seem like a really dangerous idea. 

In 1979 Kramer vs Kramer was the cautionary morality play of the worst divorce can be. I haven’t rewatched that one but on some level, this is just a remake and I’m disappointed. Did we have to be told again that a bad divorce is horrible for kids? 

I won’t give the thin Marriage Story plot away- watch it. It is well crafted. The moral of the story seems to be don’t let lawyers into your Conscious Uncoupling especially if you have enough money to fund a feud. It’s been decades since I saw Kramer vs. Kramer so I can’t recall if the lawyers were the villains in that one, but they are horrible in Marriage Story. 

When people talk to me about tough decision whether to stay or go- I tell them that bad marriages are bad for kids and bad divorces are bad for kids. If you can create a powerful relationship and health family with the person you share your kids with, I say do that. If your relationship is sucking the life out of you, exposing your kids to disrespect or you’ve done all that you can do, please find a new way to create a healthy family. Do not let people poison you on your partner or feed irrational fears that since they are going to screw you, you better screw them first. 

Marriage Story is like those cancer kid movies, it makes you appreciate that this isn’t your experience. But divorce is more common than cancer and our attitudes deeply impact our behavior around how we transition our family. I could write a movie about my own personal experience but honestly it would be too short and horribly boring. (And Carrie Fisher is dead so who could play me?) 

Divorce happens when someone makes the tough grown up decision that the best path forward for them is away from their spouse. That decision deeply impacts their partner and their children and it is always experienced as a loss- of a dream, of a way of being, of a plan but that loss doesn’t have to be a sentimental tragedy…except in Hollywood.