Your Presence is Requested

Being present.

Present is the buzzword of the season. My Facebook feed keeps reminding me that my kids need my presence more than presents. (Yeah, not on my kids list!)

I used to hate the term self-esteem. Self esteem is a concept psychologists invented that seems to simply have most of us feeling worse about feeling bad about ourselves.

And believe me, as one who is genetically gifted with extraordinary self esteem, believing you can walk on water lands you in the deep end way too often.  Just because you think you can do something does not mean you can- high self esteem is like being drunk and singing karaoke.

After self esteem came the issue of body image. Another area we (especially women) are made to feel bad about feeling bad about ourselves. This one my genetics only partially shielded me from.

Next up- feeling bad that you are not fully present in every moment of every monotonous day. I have yet to meet the Zen Master of mothering who loves the 459th diaper just as much as the first or who latches her 2 year old on as tenderly as her newborn or who adores night time struggles knowing full well that they will be leaving for college in only 15 short years.

No one is present all the time- you might lose your mind that way. Presence does not occur in the future.  You can not have more presence. You can be present more often. Don’t make it impossible, don’t make it complicated. Presence is available any moment where you notice it is missing. A little bit goes a long way.

Notice when your kids are trying to tell you something.

Notice when your spouse seems distant.

Notice when someone gives you a compliment.

Notice when there is quiet.

Notice when you feel irritated.

Notice when you’re leaning into the future or being pulled into the past.

Notice a good meal, a great cup of coffee.

Any moment that you slow down enough to notice, you are present. Your blood pressure lowers, you center, you give your body the message that things are just fine. When you notice, people feel seen, feel secure, feel loved. When you notice, you are in charge of your experience.

I wish you a slow, centered, connected holiday week.

Maureen