Proceed with Caution- Stressed out momma ahead
It is two days until the Twin Cities Birth and Baby Expo...which is my other baby. 7 years ago, I was invited to volunteer for this crazy idea- “let’s create a natural birth event for the community”. Like all children- it has grown and flourished and every year amazes me and also kinda kicks my butt.
Tonight, as I answer one more email, fix one more edit, pick up the copies, pack the car, and check my list again I feel like I need a big sign warning Approach with Care! I might just bite you if you push me that last step over the edge. Hey- I recognize this feeling! This is what having toddlers feels like. The constant unpredictable and insatiable needs, the distractions and mini crises have me counting the minutes until I can reasonably put myself to bed.
Ok, I admit the comparison is limited. My toddlers are insatiable but only until Saturday at 5 when the mess will be cleaned up and our team will be toasting our accomplishments. This stage isn’t endless. I throw the junk in the attic until next October when I will take approach it with fresh eyes.
The lesson for me this week is how feeling overwhelmed equals feeling aggressive. Toddlers aren’t dangerous. Doing this wonderful Expo that I love isn’t dangerous. Almost nothing in my life is dangerous- certainly nothing in my life is trying to hurt me.
Every once in awhile, I hear a parent concerned that their sweet, innocent child was exposed to other naughty toddlers and learned to hit.
In my experience humans want to hit. We want to get even. We want to defend ourselves aggressively from imagined threat. So much of loving, being generous, growing is about fighting past our primal animal survival instincts to a place where we take that simple breath that pulls us past survival. It feels like people are trying to destroy us…and they aren’t. Requests are just requests. Being overwhelmed isn’t going to destroy us, it is the feeling of being stretched to our bigger self.
So many of you are living in survival land right now and it is just as it is supposed to be. Your feelings of overwhelm and resentment are important. They mean you’re growing. They mean you’re stretched. They mean you likely need more appreciation, more support…and a nap. Certainly a nap.