Simplicity sounds easy but not for me….

I started reading Simplicity Parenting (Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids by Kim John Payne and Lisa M Ross) because I heard it was great for parents with ADHD kids. I thought it might have some things to support my often overwhelmed 14 year old. Instead… I think the book is mostly about me.

I resist structure- it cramps my style, limits my creativity, just isn’t me. My husband is better at this and after 15 years, I am starting to see what I’ve been missing. I know where the scissors are. My kids put them back 90% of the time (I put them back 80%) because they only go one place. Not just the scissors but the hammers and the tweezers and I know where my pens are and my tax forms. You cannot believe how life changing this is for me. Having a messy house and running to Target to buy stuff that I can’t find but know is here somewhere is not being creative. Creative is what I get to do with the scissors instead of going to Target…again.

We are living in a world of “choice overload”. The book recommends cutting kids’ toy distractions down considerably- tossing half, putting away another half. As I sat in my bedroom, reading on my Kindle I look around at the “toys” in my room that I could live without. I have clothes that don’t fit, 40 books I have read and will never read again, jewelry that is lovely for someone clearly not me, 20 pairs of shoes that kill my feet, and funniest of all, at the foot of my bed is a large box of knitting supplies. Now I used to love to knit and there is some slim chance that I could catch the knitting bug again but I am pretty sure that box of (not) knitting has been sitting at the foot of my bed nagging me to knit for over 4 years.

I think most of us could offer our kids less of a lot of things- less meal options, less entertainment options, less clothing options, less books, less toys, less argument, less power struggles. Take one thing- breakfast or mornings or bedtime and peel away some of the distractions. Don’t make your life complicated by taking on everything. Take just one important and stressful time of your day and get rid of the distractions. There is nothing wrong with having the same thing for breakfast everyday or reading the same books at night. There is nothing wrong with going to the same playground or on the same walk every week. It actually becomes ritual, meditation.

Our brains need a break. Our kids’ brains need breaks. We need fewer choices, fewer unnecessary options so that our creativity grows from the predictable nature of the sun rising, and the seasons changing rather than an endless hunt for the scissors.