Tag / attachment parenting
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Whatever Works for Your Family has to Work
When I started my private practice I wanted to be a safe haven for parents- I wasn’t going to push them to wean or get a babysitter or kick their kids out their bed. I believe in “whatever works for your family” and defend however you choose to feed or care for your baby and your family’s sleeping arrangements. I know that everyone wants their kids to grow up to…
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BEST Parenting Book I have read in years
I found it! This is THE book. I never do this- buy this book. Read this book. Share this book. I wish I had written this book. This book is about babies and teens and homework and feelings and mostly about just how much work we as parents have to do on ourselves. Out of Control: Why Disciplining Your Child Doesn’t Work…and What Will by Shefali Tsabary. Now since you…
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Letting Go of Punishing
I have been studying and practicing positive parenting for at least 13 years. I struggled to find effective parenting 30 years ago with my oldest. I felt like if he was struggling it meant I had to do something, anything, more. I took his struggles personally. I felt like a bad mom. When we got help with what turned out to be a serious neurobiological illness I was off the…
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Changing Your Yelling Response
On Sunday I had 47 people show up for my STOP YELLING workshop. 47 parents who want to do better with their kids. This stuff makes me so happy! I yell at my kids. Not as much as I used to and rare enough that I feel confident teaching a class on the subject. Be highly suspicious of people who don’t yell at their kids… not sure but alien pod…
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Darth Vader Moments
I’ve used this analogy before- modern positive parenting= Obi Wan Kanobi…”those are not the droids you’re looking for” and traditional punishment parenting= Darth Vader…”I will blow up your planet if you piss me off.” Overly simplified but I find it helpful. I often wonder where my Darth Vader side comes from. Most of my adult life I have been working on not blowing people’s planets up just because I am…
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Why Kids Can’t Come with an Instruction Manual
Of course kids can’t come with instructions. When you go to Ikea and buy a bookcase, you take home a box that looks absolutely nothing like a bookcase but it has all the required pieces, a list of needed tools and one insane sheet of “instructions”. It might take many frustrating hours but you aren’t done until it looks just like the photo on the box. When they hand us…
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Motivation… or How Do You Get Them to be Good?
I saw this great post about motivation- mainly about how money only works on some tasks and doesn’t necessarily motivate us the way we think it does. Check it out…or skip it and let me tell you what I think… http://www.upworthy.com/whats-one-of-the-worst-ways-to-motivate-someone-hint-you-see-it-all-the-time?c=ufb2 Understanding human motivation is the core of parenting. All this stuff about punishment, consequences, positive reinforcement are attempts to motivate or manipulate kids to get them to do what…
