Tag / connection
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Into the Marriage Votex
I love doing marriage work. It is deeply rewarding to be trusted with a couple’s most valuable resource at a time of fear and hurt. For 15 years I have studied the patterns, the stages relationships go through. I see how they get built, how they break down and how they heal. I ask people to give me months. I have to walk them slowly out of a mess that…
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Report cards, conferences, emails from the teacher and other things to freak out about….
T’is the season when we start hearing from our kids’ teachers- whether it is your first preschool conference in the teeny tiny chairs or your meeting with your kid’s high school adviser about college plans. I just want to remind you to check yourself. This is not about you. This is not an evaluation of either your parenting nor your genetics. This is not designed to make you feel bad…or…
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Strangely- I have winter on the brain
Totally loving Minnesota this week. I can’t believe how fast leaves have filled in all the brown space and how quickly my freckles can pop. We did Open Streets in Mpls last weekend and my sister and I both topped our record- over 20,000 steps. And yet- I have lived through many, many long MN winters and I wonder how we make it through each year. Bill Doherty has long…
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The Bullshit Detector….Just another reason family is so damned hard.
If you’ve been following me for awhile, you get that I think it all comes down to attachment. When you love someone, sleep with them, touch them, break bread with them, they become family. And no one makes you crazy like family does. Kids make you crazy. Partners make you crazy. And no matter how grown you think you are, your siblings and your parents can still jerk your chain.…
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No One Asks Darth Vader for Advice- Unpacking Authoritarian Parenting
On a mainstream parenting group there was a discussion about whether or not to make your toddlers say please and thank you. Obviously all parents want their kids to grow up to be polite and have manners and more importantly be respectful and appreciate others. That isn’t the divide when we talk about parenting. The divide is all about “make them”. Authoritarian parents have high expectations of their children and…
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If 3 year olds could vote- I’d beat Trump
Last Saturday, when it was an amazing 70 degree March day in Minnesota I had the honor of offering my Coaching Kids through Big Feelings class to over 40 parents. People who could have been outside. People who could have been doing anything more selfish than learning to get past their own stuff and give their kids a better shot at emotional wellbeing. It was a fantastic tonic after consuming…
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What’s the Matter? Nothing- I’m Fine
We can judge the feelings of people we love in a heartbeat. Before they are even aware of a feeling it is in their voice and on their face. Something seems off…and it feels very personal. When something is off we have to ask- “What’s the matter?” “What’s the matter?” “Oh, I am so glad you asked. I feel so supported. It is great to know that you are paying…
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Let’s admit it- 90% of my fans are wives, most of them with husbands and most of what is out there about Valentine’s Day is ads for pink crap, flowers and candy. I covered the pink crap at Target and women’s needs around Valentine’s Day last year- https://www.marriagegeek.com/374 How about a little husband loving? Monday I am presenting at the 13th Annual Minnesota Fatherhood and Families Network Summit www.mnfathers.org so…
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No More Emotional Bubble Wrap
I love the term “Free Range Parent”. I identify strongly as a parent who lets her kids roam, find their limits and explore the large world they live in. I also let them fall a lot. My kids rock climb and swim and roller blade and mountain bike because I love how confident it makes them feel. As the mother of 3 boys I am committed to not shutting down…
