Tag / discipline
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No One Asks Darth Vader for Advice- Unpacking Authoritarian Parenting
On a mainstream parenting group there was a discussion about whether or not to make your toddlers say please and thank you. Obviously all parents want their kids to grow up to be polite and have manners and more importantly be respectful and appreciate others. That isn’t the divide when we talk about parenting. The divide is all about “make them”. Authoritarian parents have high expectations of their children and…
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Changing Your Yelling Response
On Sunday I had 47 people show up for my STOP YELLING workshop. 47 parents who want to do better with their kids. This stuff makes me so happy! I yell at my kids. Not as much as I used to and rare enough that I feel confident teaching a class on the subject. Be highly suspicious of people who don’t yell at their kids… not sure but alien pod…
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Darth Vader Moments
I’ve used this analogy before- modern positive parenting= Obi Wan Kanobi…”those are not the droids you’re looking for” and traditional punishment parenting= Darth Vader…”I will blow up your planet if you piss me off.” Overly simplified but I find it helpful. I often wonder where my Darth Vader side comes from. Most of my adult life I have been working on not blowing people’s planets up just because I am…
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Why Kids Can’t Come with an Instruction Manual
Of course kids can’t come with instructions. When you go to Ikea and buy a bookcase, you take home a box that looks absolutely nothing like a bookcase but it has all the required pieces, a list of needed tools and one insane sheet of “instructions”. It might take many frustrating hours but you aren’t done until it looks just like the photo on the box. When they hand us…
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Motivation… or How Do You Get Them to be Good?
I saw this great post about motivation- mainly about how money only works on some tasks and doesn’t necessarily motivate us the way we think it does. Check it out…or skip it and let me tell you what I think… http://www.upworthy.com/whats-one-of-the-worst-ways-to-motivate-someone-hint-you-see-it-all-the-time?c=ufb2 Understanding human motivation is the core of parenting. All this stuff about punishment, consequences, positive reinforcement are attempts to motivate or manipulate kids to get them to do what…
