Tag / emotional coaching
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Agitated this week? Who isn’t?
Of course you are. Apparently, half the country would rather we move toward fascism than trust a brilliant woman of color to lead us. The world is unstable. Our climate is unstable, our economy is unstable. We live in a world that centers the needs of billionaires. Women, people of color, immigrant families, the LGBQT community, anyone dealing with a disability, and all their friends and families are not safe…
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I AM GRUMPY!
As we walk through the world, we are surrounded by people who are sick of the weather, who are depressed by politics, who are struggling with cabin fever, who have the flu or are cleaning up the impact of having sick little ones.
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Wonder and Delight- inoculate against stress
Anxiety is on my mind this week. Professionally I consider it the common cold of mental health- shows up a lot and responds well to treatment. Lately I have been considering the bigger picture of the huge increase in anxiety we are seeing in both parents and in our kids. Some facts- research shows as much as five to eight times as many high school and college students who meet…
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Please Stop Reading Books
Don’t get me wrong- I love reading. If you are on Good Reads (FB for books) you may have set a New Year’s goal. I committed to 30 books this year. I am always reading 2 on my Kindle- one fiction and one professional and listening to one in my car. Now that my kids are big, I actually have a fair amount of time to read and it is…
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Big Feelings and The Worst Thing Ever
The other night, my 13 year old was reminding me that he was still protesting our families decision to have his brother move into the extra bedroom. (I recall coming to a consensus but we’ll agree to disagree.) I was in a crappy mood, trying to be done parenting for the night and he clearly wasn’t feeling heard. “You don’t understand- him moving out of our bedroom was the worst…
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Undoing Crappy Emotional Coaching
My 14 year old begins high school on Tuesday. He’s been a bit stressed about it. He said “I just wish people would stop telling me it’s going to be ok. They don’t know that and it feels like they’re lying to me.” A thread on Facebook discussing loss and stupid things people say- “It’s for the best” or “God has a plan” or “God doesn’t give you more than…
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“Right Now, Can You Make an Unconditional Relationship with Yourself?”
I stumbled across this video this week. I preach taming the voice in your head, that you are either your own best friend or your own worst enemy and most people who are their own best friends have much easier lives. Walking around day and night with your worst enemy bitching at you is exhausting. I think I’m pretty good at this but that video got me thinking. Unconditional? Maybe…
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I admit it, my instincts can be all wrong
I love the idea that parenting is instinctual. I wish that my gut reaction to my kids was always right on. Instead I swing between worrying too much to not worrying enough. My instincts are fed by my past and my socialization. My instincts are muddied by the Today Show and Facebook telling me what everyone else thinks are important. My instincts tell me that I am not enough for…
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The Bullshit Detector….Just another reason family is so damned hard.
If you’ve been following me for awhile, you get that I think it all comes down to attachment. When you love someone, sleep with them, touch them, break bread with them, they become family. And no one makes you crazy like family does. Kids make you crazy. Partners make you crazy. And no matter how grown you think you are, your siblings and your parents can still jerk your chain.…
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No One Asks Darth Vader for Advice- Unpacking Authoritarian Parenting
On a mainstream parenting group there was a discussion about whether or not to make your toddlers say please and thank you. Obviously all parents want their kids to grow up to be polite and have manners and more importantly be respectful and appreciate others. That isn’t the divide when we talk about parenting. The divide is all about “make them”. Authoritarian parents have high expectations of their children and…
