Tag / parenting
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Report cards, conferences, emails from the teacher and other things to freak out about….
T’is the season when we start hearing from our kids’ teachers- whether it is your first preschool conference in the teeny tiny chairs or your meeting with your kid’s high school adviser about college plans. I just want to remind you to check yourself. This is not about you. This is not an evaluation of either your parenting nor your genetics. This is not designed to make you feel bad…or…
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Attachment Wounds Pt 3
Attachment Wounds Pt 3 If all goes well in life, you get to navigate relationships from a position of secure attachment. If your childhood experiences or messed up adult relationships have screwed up that attachment you get anxious or dismissive, preoccupied or avoidant or some messed up combination of these are your relationship baggage. Intimacy scares you or emotions and needs scare you. Because you are terrified of being hurt…
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I admit it, my instincts can be all wrong
I love the idea that parenting is instinctual. I wish that my gut reaction to my kids was always right on. Instead I swing between worrying too much to not worrying enough. My instincts are fed by my past and my socialization. My instincts are muddied by the Today Show and Facebook telling me what everyone else thinks are important. My instincts tell me that I am not enough for…
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Teaching Our Kids the Vibrant Art of Emotions
Each of us is born with the full natural human range of emotions. Think of it like having the big box of crayons…the one with the sharpener. We come to the world able to express and feel 96 unique feelings…we just don’t have the labels yet. When we are little our feelings are raw and messy. When we turn three we start to play big with feelings. Three year olds pick a color- anger, frustration, fear,…
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The New Calendar Starts Tomorrow!!!
What a lovely day to reflect. Time to buy a new calendar for the family- mostly we all use Google but I hold onto one on the fridge for the visual impact. 2016 brings lots of predictable stuff… we live through winter and in March I will be done with my last baby being 11…my hardest parenting year with all of them. 12 sounds so good and then Joey turns…
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Sorry- Love is Messy
At the core of my professional and my personal life is the belief that all relationships are fueled by a powerful, biologically programed desire for connection. The reason I never run out of work is that the path to connection looks easy and then makes us come unglued. Everyone walks down the aisle fairly confident that love will prevail. No one is prepared for how brutal it feels when the…
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The Powerful Habit of Reconnecting
Couples fight. Parents yell. Siblings bicker. Kids have meltdowns. Parenting and marriage and life are messy. I got into it this morning with Joey, the 13 year old over socks. He was running late for school, I forgot he had student council, he had a rough night with sleep. It was just a bump but it was a rough bump right as he was walking out the door. I heard…
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The “Special” Glass
The other day, Zach (the 11 year old) said “The only thing I want to take with me when I move out is this glass… I mean if it’s still around’”. A couple of immediate reactions…”He’s planning his move out date? At 11?” followed closely by “Who knew- that glass?” It isn’t special. It has no historical importance. We didn’t get it on one of our amazing vacations. It wasn’t…
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Changing Your Yelling Response
On Sunday I had 47 people show up for my STOP YELLING workshop. 47 parents who want to do better with their kids. This stuff makes me so happy! I yell at my kids. Not as much as I used to and rare enough that I feel confident teaching a class on the subject. Be highly suspicious of people who don’t yell at their kids… not sure but alien pod…
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Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
A friend of mine just lost her grandfather and posted an amazing testimony to the positive impact he has had on her life. It got me thinking about what I expect from the second half of my life. I have hit all the milestone- married, three kids, homeowner, professional. Even my commitment to working out isn’t really about getting somewhere but staying where I am. Use it or lose it…
