Tag / positive parenting
-
![]()
Naughty Behavior at Target
Kids are terrible at Target. They demand stuff. They’re loud They run away. The touch everything They can’t control themselves. Everything and anything can cause a meltdown. At Target (where I spend way too much money and half my income) I hear “stop that”, “put that down”, “no, we are not buying toys today”, the dad negotiating “if you can be good, we’ll get a cookie” the mom threatening “knock…
-
![]()
Thinking about Tomorrow
My boys and I are watching old episodes of Glee (to them Glee is an old show). Last night they were signing the Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop”. Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow Don’t stop, it’ll soon be here It’ll be even better than before, Yesterday’s gone, yesterday’s gone Joey said- “Wait a minute, I…
-
![]()
The Best Mindfulness Doesn’t Happen in Our Heads
Criticism lives in our head. Compassion lives in our hearts. When hurt or scared most of us move into our heads where we feel safe and in control. When relationships overwhelm us we harden our hearts and think too much. We think about our partner’s mistakes, our kids’ struggles, our families weaknesses and our own shortcomings. When we are connected to our feelings, we remember that people are mostly doing…
-
![]()
Can Parenting Be Important but not so Serious?
I blame psychology. I have no idea how old I was when I learned about self esteem, positive thinking, dysfunctional families and codependency. It certainly wasn’t in college, it wasn’t even in school. Everyone knows just enough psychology to know that everything is really your mother’s fault. Come on- just think about it. If you had been parented better, understood better, supported better you’d be taking on the world today,…
-
![]()
You Might Be a Pushy Parent- I Was
I am sure that none of you were the pushy parents who were so poorly behaved at Pez’s Easter Egg Hunt last week. Missed it? Check this out. What kind of parents bowl over toddlers for a few pieces of free candy? You might be surprised. I think I might be guilty of this. Maybe you are too. Parents are rushing their kids into things they aren’t ready for, because it…
-
![]()
No One Asks Darth Vader for Advice- Unpacking Authoritarian Parenting
On a mainstream parenting group there was a discussion about whether or not to make your toddlers say please and thank you. Obviously all parents want their kids to grow up to be polite and have manners and more importantly be respectful and appreciate others. That isn’t the divide when we talk about parenting. The divide is all about “make them”. Authoritarian parents have high expectations of their children and…
-
![]()
If 3 year olds could vote- I’d beat Trump
Last Saturday, when it was an amazing 70 degree March day in Minnesota I had the honor of offering my Coaching Kids through Big Feelings class to over 40 parents. People who could have been outside. People who could have been doing anything more selfish than learning to get past their own stuff and give their kids a better shot at emotional wellbeing. It was a fantastic tonic after consuming…
-
![]()
Confessions of an Imperfect Mom
As many of you know, I have been a mom for 31 years. I struggled a great deal with my first as a young, insecure, single mother of a kid with serious emotional and behavioral problems. Now as an old, cocky, married mom I look back and can see the things that I couldn’t see at the time. When people talked about my son’s behavior, I took it too personally. Anyone…
-
![]()
Letting Go of Punishing
I have been studying and practicing positive parenting for at least 13 years. I struggled to find effective parenting 30 years ago with my oldest. I felt like if he was struggling it meant I had to do something, anything, more. I took his struggles personally. I felt like a bad mom. When we got help with what turned out to be a serious neurobiological illness I was off the…
-
![]()
The “Special” Glass
The other day, Zach (the 11 year old) said “The only thing I want to take with me when I move out is this glass… I mean if it’s still around’”. A couple of immediate reactions…”He’s planning his move out date? At 11?” followed closely by “Who knew- that glass?” It isn’t special. It has no historical importance. We didn’t get it on one of our amazing vacations. It wasn’t…
