Rewriting the Pink Holiday

I am not very romantic. I don’t love or hate Valentine’s Day. Ok… I hate the pink crap and I hate that roses double in price. I hate that there are people out there feeling enormous pressure to “get it right” and I hate that on the 15th lots of people will feel hurt and disappointed. I hate that people are spoiling their kids with useless crap on a holiday that in my opinion should be all about sex and passion not candy. I love buying myself flowers and candy. This week I bought myself some new “jewelry”. Want to see?

 I do a damn good job of self care and am open to a future where someone else gets to spoil me. I might have to change my mind about this pink holiday.

Let’s rewrite Valentine’s Day.  Let’s kick out the kids and the crap and Hallmark and create something that celebrates romantic love.

What do we want for Valentine’s Day and what do we have to offer our partner?

Romance communicates admiration, devotion, and lust for that person who means the world to you. It requires emotion, intention and action. You can try finding something at Target…because Target has everything but you have to bring your own feelings, set your own intention and put your expression into action.

Some Marriage Geek hints for the big day.

Be Bold- If you suck at planning, plan. If you suck at spontaneous throw caution to the wind. If words aren’t your thing, write a sonnet. If you never take the lead, attack (respectfully of course.) Take a risk. Do it big. Screw it up. Freak them out. Create a memory.

Appreciation– People like to feel appreciated. They like to know not only that you love them but why. We want to be seen. The thing that means the most to our kids is not so different to what we can give our partner- that our eyes light up with delight just when they are being themselves. Say it. Say it out loud or in a card or on Facebook but make sure and say it.

Pampering- What does pampering look like to your spouse? What makes them feel special? What shows that they deserve to be well cared for? The best of something, something they wouldn’t necessarily give themselves. Get their car detailed or buy the best steaks or tackle that mess you’ve been promising to do.

Nostalgia– Show them you remember. Romance often happens by doing that thing from the past. Do the things you used to do together. Visit the place it all began. Get out the wedding video. Looking back helps us deepen our connection to the journey we are on.

Sex– Come on who doesn’t want to be seduced and loved up in the way only you know how to love them. Totally unselfish, generous, giving sex… this requires some thought. What does your partner need to be at their best in your arms? Did you know that Smitten Kitten has extended hours this week?

Pick a different day- If you hate Valentine’s Day and it is a trap for you agree with your partner to create your own holiday. Celebrate one of the president’s birthdays or Susan B Anthony’s birthday on February 15th. Mardi Gras on March 5th offers some amazing potential for a knock down day of debauchery. Maybe the equinox or daylights savings time or St Patricks Day would work.  Tuesdays are always good. Maybe celebrate Tuesdays.

Chocolate. Ok… you know me… there is always room for more chocolate.

Love you all. You inspire my belief in the magic of complicated love and sex and romance every day.

Maureen